You are Padma


You could invest in a permanent supply of polyjuice potion to look different, but that might be annoying and you want to do something really different. Of course, there's a voice in your head that keeps saying, "Padma! This is the last thing you should be thinking about while the fate of the world rests in your hands," but then you think about Heidi Montag and you realize a little plastic surgery could do you some good.

And that's where being magical absolutely rocks! You don't need to see a plastic surgeon to change how you look there's a spell book for that!

You know Flourish and Botts has been closed for weeks -- thanks to Voldemort's ascension -- but you figure the books have got to still be there. And maybe that's where you'll find some new spells for body alteration.

You sneak up to the front window and peer inside. Just as you expected, the place looks abandoned and in disarray. One shelf of books has fallen completely, with others collecting dust and cobwebs. Perfect!

Luckily, the door is actually unlocked, so you don't need to use magic to break your way through. You feel like you're playing hopscotch as you navigate around the scattered textbooks. One book you'll never forget -- Hagrid's Monster Book of Monsters -- almost takes a bite out of your ankle as you pass by it. You're glad you don't have to take that class again.

Then you see it:

How I Got So Hot, and How You Can Too!
By Gilderoy Lockhart


You thumb through it with eagerness. Once you get past chapters like, "Best pickup lines used on me" and "When I turned down that veela because I was out of her league," you find the section on "Improvements for women." It reads as follows:

Here are a few spells they don't teach you ladies at Hogwarts, which might give you half a chance of being one-tenth as good-looking as I am.

Breasto Engorgio -- should give you a bigger bra size

Nosio Jobio -- should give your nose a better shape

Botoxio magnifico -- just the right amount of botox for wrinkled skin. Also works on your blouses and robes!

And this last one, which I encourage you to use with caution. Supposedly, it can have some adverse effects.

Fionus Shrekus -- allegedly changes you altogether and makes you look like the most beautiful woman on earth. I've never tried it, since you all know I'm already handsome -- and a man.


That's the one you want! Taking a deep breath, you pull out your wand and shout FIONUS SHREKUS!

And as you glance into the mirror, you see not yourself, but a beautiful woman with brunette hair and a delicate face. You have become Fiona of Far Far Away!

Except just in your moment of joy, something weird starts happening: Your skin transforms into an ugly shade of green and you feel sick to your stomach. Now you look like an ogre!

Should you:
A.) Move to a swamp and hide?
or
B.) Call for help?