Written by Kait Silva & Adam Spunberg
Created by Adam Spunberg, Kait Silva, & Natasha Baucas
Designed by Sam Cushion


You are Luna


You look around through those stylish spectacles you like to wear and study the room. It's you -- not Harry -- who led the Rebellion, and that just feels weird. "He's the real hero," you think to yourself, but there's a part of you that relishes your increased role. What you and Neville did -- it's a victory for all those Hunger Games/Divergent/Matched-reading dorky kids who so often get overlooked. Dork power!

Still, you're thrilled to share your next adventure with your first real friend, Harry. And you're ready to let the masterful Dumbledore's Army instructor lead the way once again. The only downside? Goyle has to come with you.

Harry returns after taking his sweet time with Ginny in the back room. You think you know what they were up to; it's what happens when two people go under the mistletoe, and you don't mean nargles!

"I'm ready to follow your command," you tell Harry, smiling with that peculiar airiness special to only you. "The rest of them are after the Horcruxes, but we're going to uncover something much different: The Hallows!"

"You mean the thing Dumbledore told Ron about?" Harry asks.

"Exactly!" you exclaim, though you don't raise your voice -- because you never do. "Here's the symbol." You draw the circle, triangle, and wand together.

"Oh please, no more geometry!" Goyle mutters from beside you. "Wow, a circle. Wow, a triangle. Wow, a line. Lots of angles. Side Angle Side. Circumferences and radiuses. I hate geometry, okay?"

"You're good at math?" you and Harry both say at the same time, absolutely stunned.

"Uhhh, well," Goyle mutters. You sigh with relief. He's just as dumb as you thought. Then you notice a book in his hand, and now you're really scared -- Goyle has NEVER read a book in his life. You fear this could be some kind of device handed down by Voldemort. Maybe even a horcrux!

"Give us the book. RIGHT NOW!" Harry demands. He must have been thinking the same thing.

"No," Goyle says, refusing adamantly.

Harry has no patience for this, so he yells STUPEFY! and grabs it out of the idiot's hands.

"Ummm," Harry starts, his face turning white. "Luna, you're not going to believe this."

"What is it?" you ask, fright swishing through your veins and arteries.

"Goyle is reading...50 Shades of Grey."

"Isn't that actually Twilight fan fiction?" you ask, astonished.

"It was. It was," Harry laments. "But now, it's an unstoppable force. Some really dark magic, and no defense against the dark arts can defeat it. It will conquer us all!"

"Should we fight this, or should we go see my father about the Hallows?"

Should you:
A.) Try to save the world from Christian Grey obsession?
or
B.) Go to Xenophilius Lovegood's house?